If Only
by zabani-chan
Summary: He couldn't understand it. Couldn't wrap his mind aound it. How could someone like her be...though they weren't any better off...


If Only

Zabani-chan

One-shot

**Diclaimer: first Skip Beat! story. It's a RenKyoko pairing, and has a character death. I'm not exactly sure if I have the characters in the right mind and I've only read up to vol. 7, so don't prejudice me because I missed something that happened between Ren, Kyoko, and Sho that takes place after vol. 7.**

**Here ya go!**

He stared out the window from the LME president's office. It was pouring the sky dark and cloudy. It was her favorite weather, and it matched the mood the in the room. Gloomy and depressed. He could see everyone's reflection in the window he stood in front of. No one was smiling. N one was happy, or cheerful, or anything. They were still trying to grasp what happened. They were still in shock.

Everyone was there. Everyone who knew and respected her because she changed their life for the better. Her best friend, Moko, his manager, Ruri, Seigi, Mr. President, Maria, Director Kurosaki, and her adoptive parents. Sho's parents had also shown up, and had dragged Sho along. How they had done that was beyond Ren, but it made him smile because he could practically hear her yelling in rage:

"_What the hell is he doing here?! I don't want him here! Get him out, Ren!_"

She had taken to calling him by his first name after he had taken to calling her by her first name. That had been over two years ago, and during the second year they had admitted to the other that they loved each other. That had been a year ago. (so that makes five years) According to everyone, they made the perfect couple. They could understand each other like no one else could, they could communicate without words, and they argued just for the fun of it. In the year they had been together, they had never once had an argument that had caused them to separate for a short time like most couples.

He looked back out the window, his thoughts running wild with 'what ifs'. But that's all they were. What ifs. What if he had been there? What would the outcome be then? Would it be different? Would she be standing here, gazing out the window, and him 10 feet under instead? Or would both of them be here, smiling, together? He frowned as he realized he would never have an answer to those questions, because she was gone, and never coming back.

As he stared past the raindrops on the glass, to the people and cars passing by below, he still found it hard to believe that someone so strong, so energetic, so brave and caring and giving could die….just like that. He found the thought of her never coming back hard to wrap his head around. He would never hear her voice again, see her smile or cry or get angry or irritated, never walk home together, never eat together, never go out together, never talk of marriage or children again, never come home late to see her cooking dinner or cleaning. None of that would happen again.

So he pretended that it was all one big movie. The main character had died, and her lover was devastated, decided to live out the rest of his life and wait for the day when they could finally be together again. All their friends would eventually move on, thinking of her only on the day she died and her birthday. And when they finally met again, they were at peace.

He dug his hand into his pocket, and pulled out a couple of pills. They were used in acting to create a short coma for death. The consumer would be in an actual coma for a few hours, and would wake up a few hours later, completely unharmed. And taking only more than one would kill you almost immediately (1).

He ignored everyone else, who was watching him intently, as if waiting to see what he would do. He grabbed a cup of water, and dropped the pills in it, letting them dissolve. His manager immediately jumped to his feet, eyes wide.

"Ren! What are you doing?! You can't take that many! You know that!" he said frantically. Ren ignored him, watching the pills quickly dissolve.

"What kind of pills are those?" Moko asked.

"They're used in acts. If you take them, it puts you in a coma for a few hours. You're only supposed to take half of one, but he's taking two whole ones! That's enough to kill him!" he said, panicking as Ren started drinking the water, He was nearly finished when he dropped the almost empty cup, it contents spilling on the floor. He dropped to the ground and leaned back against the wall, ignoring how everyone had jumped up and ran over to him, his manager shaking him. He looked at Sho, and smirked, as if saying, 'If _you_ had loved her, would you kill yourself to be with her?' Sho merely looked away, as if answering, 'I don't know.' He looked away from Sho, and for a moment, he saw her, standing there in the bright pink uniform, her smile meant only for him. He slowly blinked, and as his eyes closed and darkness took over, he murmured one last sentence.

"I'm coming…Kyoko."

8888

End

You know, this is got toe be the shortest fic I've ever wrote. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Tell me what you thought, and be honest!!

– the pills are made up. I don't know if they actually exist, but I doubt it! US technology isn't that advanced yet…

Ja Ne!


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